January 28, 2010

A TIME TO REFLECT...

Today I am going to take the opportunity to reflect on some things that have been on my mind lately. It has been a year since my sweet grandmother, Kathryn Ivie, passed away. She had Alzheimer's for many years and left this earth on January 15, 2009. My grandfather, Hershel Ivie, took care of her the entire time. His endless devotion and love for her has been one of the greatest examples of selflessness I have ever witnessed. The tender way that he approached and cared for her was such a reflection of the eternal bond that they shared. My grandmother kept the sweet spirit that has always been hers, even when the disease took over her mind. It really showed her true nature. She truly was a divine person.
Last month my grandpa had hip replacement surgery, and I had the chance to visit him in the hospital as he was recovering. When I saw him walking down the hall, I was overcome with the Spirit, and I saw him for the amazing person he is. As we sat down with him while he was eating his lunch, I felt the presence of my grandma and my dad very strongly. I can't even begin to describe the incredible feeling that came over me. My brother Dayne was sitting next to me, and I could tell that he had a similar feeling. This was our Grandfather, and as I saw the last name "Ivie" written on his medicine cup, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of eternity and the sealing power that binds our family together. As he talked of his posterity and the circumstances that brought him to this point in his life, I couldn't help but be so incredibly grateful for him and my grandmother. The man that was sitting before me was humble and so reflective, and it made me realize that I needed to be better about recording the things that happen in my life. I am here on this earth because of him, my grandma, and all of my ancestors who have been righteous and have endured this life with courage, joy, and faith. I will be forever grateful for this life changing experience. The veil seemed very thin that day. I love you both very much.
Today is the 18th anniversary of my dad's death. This has always been a difficult time of year for me for this very reason. I was only 12 years old when he passed away. That is such an impressionable age, and it has definitely impacted my life in every way. There are days when it feels like it was only yesterday and others when it feels like a lifetime ago. I have felt my dad quite often throughout my life, and I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for allowing him to be close to me at those times. My sister, Nicole, and I were talking about him and how sad we are that he is missing out on his grandkids growing up. We know he would get the biggest kick out of all of them. We miss asking for advice and council, but we also know that he had a hand in blending our family with the Williams family. As I get older, I realize what a neat experience it is to have literally two "Fathers" in heaven. I have been blessed beyond measure in my life with comfort and a calm reassurance of eternal families.
I miss you more than I can say. I love you, Dad.

11 comments:

Dean Family said...

Nat...what can I say?! What a perfect post to go with our perfect conversation. I will be forever grateful for your inspired thoughts about our Ivie heritage...and what an amazing heritage we have been given! It is windy, rainy and even snowy day in Deming. However, as I look out my window at the mountains, I can't help but reflect about what Heavenly Father has given me! I love you so much--Nic

Heather Williams said...

That was absolutely beautiful Natalie! What a tribute of real heartfelt feelings and emotions towards your grandparents who lead such a legacy and a dad who did the same. Aren't we so lucky to have such blessings? As an in-law coming into a family, I have felt quite a power just being around all of you, So, Thank you for being such a good and loving sister to not only Ryan but me as well. Thanks for sharing.

Boone said...

You and your sister made me cry like a baby!!!
It was good for me to be able to peek inside your head. I was always to afraid to talk with you about your dad's death (what would I say?)
This gives me comfort and strength. YOU give me comfort and strength.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Nat.

Swanson Family said...

That was so great Natalie! Your dad was so awesome, I can still remember him and my dad taking us to the Moore Stake Center to have Basketball practice. You and your family are very strong to have endured this loss at such a young age. I remember it very well and I don't know how you did it with such grace and dignity. You have an amazing family and i'm sure your dad and grandmother are very proud!!

Josh and Jillian said...

I remember the day your Dad passed away too. It was one of the first times I remember my dad crying because it was such a tragic loss. Uncle Evan was such an awesome guy and we all miss him. I love your fam and am grateful we all our one big eternal family!!!

Linds@ THAT'S SO CUEGLY said...

I've never seen a picture of your father, and can just say DANE! Handsom as ever.
I'm sure he's not missing a beat with the grandkids! THanks so much for sharing this. And I'm OH SO GRATEFUL that your family DID blend with the Williams's.
P.S. My sister in law and I went to Cosmo school together, (she set me up on a blind date with my -now-husband) And she and I do each other's hair. With my new hair cut I had her cut the bottom length and I cut the layers. It's been a fun change. WELL over do.

Dye Family said...

Thanks, Nat! I don't know what else I could add to that, what a tribute to our family, we have a beautiful heritage. My heart has been so full these past couple of days, thinking of Dad and feeling so close to the spirit with this little one coming. Let's just say that I've been pretty tearful--in fact I can't see through my tears to write. We are very blessed, I love you so much!
Britt

The Richards Family said...

Wow Natalie. Thank you so much for writing what is in my heart as well. I can't believe it has been 18 years. I was telling Brock about that night and I still get the same feeling I had 18 whole years ago. I know we, along with mom, had angels to lift us up during that time. The sting of death was there but it was definitely lessened by our Fathers(both of them) love. Thanks again.....I love you so much.

Jaci Moore said...

Wow Natalie, What a powerful post! I have always looked up to you and your family. I did not know your dad very well, but what an amazing man he was. I have no doubt that he is with you every day. I think over the years of how strong you and your family have been. You are so awesome and I will never forget the fun times we always had. Your kids are soooo cute. Take care, sure miss ya! Matt

Ashleigh said...

hey my sweet Natalie. Thank you for your post. I too remember very strongly when your dad passed away. I remember giving you a hug and crying. I wanted to take your pain away. I have always felt that we have had such a strong bond. I miss that and our friendship. I am sorry if I have not been the friend that I should have been over the years. Your dad was an amazing guy. I don't know if I ever told you about the time that he came to me in a dream when I was going through a really difficult time. I walked into a room and could see him there with light radiating around him. No one else could see him though. He had his arms outstretched and I ran to him and gave him a hug. He said "I love you" and then I woke up. I could feel his presence so strong when I awoke. It was very comforting to me and I am glad I had the experience. You and your sisters are so strong and have dealt with this trial is such a positive way. I see you guys and hope that when the time comes that my dad passes, I can be as strong as you. Love ya like a sister Nat. I miss you!

Jessica Adams said...

Nat! Your post did bring on some tears! Seriously I am hormonal and pregnant and can't read things like this or I am a mess! :) You are truly an amazing person! I love reading your blog and seeing how happy you are! No one deserves it more than you! Let's get together soon!